A Canvas of Lies

Synopsis: The devil is a master painter, and his paintings are beautiful, displaying scenes of sinful situations. He paints a pretty picture of sin that leaves out the consequences. He is being interviewed about the art in his exhibition and comments on the various paintings, each named for a particular sin.

Setting: an art show. However, the pictures are imaginary, with the viewers on stage facing the audience and looking at the "paintings" slightly above the audience's heads.

Characters: B.L. Zeebub, the artist. Pamela Parfay, the TV reporter. Chuck Wagon, her cameraman. The Man that buys a painting. The Teen that comes in at the end. Several extras that are browsing among the paintings displayed.

Props: a video camera, a microphone and cable. Fake money. A folding chair. If you have them, a rope and several stanchions that keep the viewers a short distance from the paintings, like in a bank or museum. The cast stands behind the rope when viewing the paintings.

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(The extras gather at one end of the stage as if by the entrance of the gallery. B.L. Zeebub enters from the opposite side of the stage and walks toward them. When they see him, they applaud. Smiling, he greets them.)

B.L.: Oh, thank you! Thank you all, and thank you for coming to this public exhibition of my newest masterpieces. Come in, the gallery is officially open! And please remember, that all of the paintings are for sale, with the proceeds going to my favorite charity.

(They enter excitedly and begin looking at the imaginary paintings on the wall, facing the audience. Some stop to shake hands with him and he greets them.)

B.L.: Enjoy the show, and be sure to stop in the gift shop for free refreshments!

(They slowly walk across the stage viewing them, commenting among themselves about them, until they walk offstage in the opposite direction going to the next room of the gallery.)

B.L.: (Going to greet her.) Ah, Miss Parfay, welcome to my exhibition! So glad you could come.

Pam: B.L., in just a moment we'll go live with this interview, so it should help boost your attendance this weekend.

B.L.: Wonderful! Television is such a great way to reach the masses with my artistic vision.

Pam: (Turning to Chuck.) Chuck, why don't we interview Mr. Zee in stages as we walk through the gallery, and we can talk about each painting in turn.

Chuck: Gotcha! (He hands her a mic and cable which runs to the camera. He puts the camera on his shoulder and looks through the viewfinder, making adjustments to it.) Ready when you are.

Pam: (Into the camera.) This is Pamela Parfay, at the Downtown Gallery of Fine Arts, which is presenting a public exhibition of the works of the world-famous artist, Mr. B.L. Zeebub, known to his many fans as "Mr. Zee." This is the opening night of the show, which will run all weekend. (Turning to B.L.) Mr. Zee, Welcome to our city!

Pam: And people do love your art. Your works are famous the world over for your use of light in interesting ways. Tell us a little about your technique.

B.L. I'd be happy to. You see, light is basically an illusion, based on our perception of reality. You may see things in a different light than the person next to you. My paintings use a juxtaposition of darkness and light in such a way that it opens your mind and heart to the subtext of that particular work. You get into it, and it gets into you, in a manner of speaking.

B.L. Yes, I call this series of paintings, "The Beauty of Sin." Each of the pieces portrays a type of behavior of a different light than what the viewer may be used to seeing it in. Hence, the previously unseen beauty, which is in the eye of the beholder.

Pam: A philosopher, in addition to an artist! You paint sin as attractive, then, to make a statement?

B.L.: Yes, and that statement is, that what men call "sin," may be beautiful when viewed in a different context. I am a strong believer in contextual, or situational, ethics. What is right for one, in a particular situation, may not be right for another, in a different situation. And my artwork reflects that. One may see beauty, another may see ugliness. What you have inside, you bring to the canvas, as surely as I do when I paint it.

Pam: That is truly wonderful. (Moving a little to stand beside a painting, she looks up at it-looking at the imaginary canvas facing the front of the stage.) Tell us a little about this one.

B.L.: (Standing on the opposite side and gesturing toward the imaginary painting.) This little piece I have titled, "Greed." You see, it presents Man's basic desire for "more," as a positive trait... one that motivates him to reach higher and accomplish more. It is the very foundation of our country's business and work ethic. Progress and prosperity would be impossible without it. Yes, "Greed," seen in this light, is beautiful!

Pam: (Moving a few steps to the next, she is followed by the cameraman and B.L.) This is an interesting work. I see the title is "Gluttony." It's quite large. Would you care to comment on it?

B.L. I'm quite proud of this one, and it is a favorite of the viewing public wherever I go. The, shall I say, "super-size" of the image is as much a statement as the picture itself. And the medium is unique; you see, I used only pureed food, vegetable juices, beef tallow and broth as my paints. In fact, here in the heat of the spotlights, you can even smell this picture, besides viewing it!

Pam: (Leaning forward and taking a whiff.) I can smell it! The aroma is tantalising. How original! It smells good enough to eat.

B.L. Yes, "Gluttony," presented in this light, is beautiful. Notice the healthy sheen on the skin of the model, caused by the natural oils in the meat I painted with. And the classical rolls of flesh, how they fill the canvas! Why, with all this wonderful food to enjoy, again and again, it would be a sin to let it go to waste! So in my painting, it goes to "waist," as it were, w-a-i-s-t, that is.

Pam: (Moving slightly to the next.) Moving to the next one, I can see that it is one of the most interesting yet. Would you please tell us... (She notices the camera is no longer on her and she pauses.)

(The cameraman has become entranced by the next painting and is looking at it gape-mouthed and glassy-eyed, letting the camera sag from his shoulder.)

(He starts and hurriedly puts the camera back up and on her with an apologetic expression.)

Pam: (Back into the mic.) Uh, Mr. Zee, tell us about this one. (Chidingly.) My cameraman seems quite taken with it!

B.L. (Laughing.) Oh, that's a typical reaction to this piece! I call it, "Lust." This one carries the highest price tag of all. But I think it's worth it! The beauty of sin is never more evident than in this one work.

B.L.: This one was quite easy, actually. The colors are kept to a minumum... flesh tones, mostly. I think what you don't see is more interesting than what you do see.

Pam: (A little disapprovingly.) Well, there's not much left to the imagination...

B.L.: On the contrary! The imagination is set afire by it, and will continue to burn long after the picture is gone from the vision. Yes, there's much more suggested by it than is shown, and that suggestion is more powerful than the actual painting. The simplicity of it is beautiful!

(Moving to the side, Pam takes a break to wrap up the interview. But she stops as she sees Chuck is still filming the painting!)

B.L.: (Noticing.) You see? Chuck has bought it, and he hasn't even paid a penny!

Pam: (Clearing her throat loudly, she gets his attention with a glare, and he aims the camera at her again.) Thank you, Mr. Zee, for taking the time to share your vision with our audience.

B.L.: Oh, it was my pleasure! I encourage everyone to come to the exhibition and partake of my paintings. I think they will find that they take a little of each, home with them! And may I add, that all are available for purchase, with the proceeds going to benefit some organizations close to my heart, the A.C.L.U. and Planned Parenthood. Less Bibles and Babies, is my motto!

Pam: And on that note we go back to the studios of WWWW TV. This is Pamela Parfay, at the Downtown Museum of Fine Arts, where you may visit this weekend to see the art show featuring the works of Mr. B.L. Zeebub. Please be a patron of the arts, and support the show!

(After a few seconds, Chuck lowers the camera and give her the "OK" sign. She hands him the mic and turns to Mr. Zeebub.)

B.L. No, thank you, Pamela! You've done me quite a service. (He sees someone enter the door and walk over to the painting of "Greed.") Ah, your broadcast is already bringing in some customers! Excuse me.

(Pam moves to talk to Chuck,--or scold him-- and they converse silently as B.L. speaks to the customer.)

Man: Yes, I saw your paintings on TV in my loan office next door and had to run over here before someone beat me to it. I've got to have one!

Man: (Rubbing his hands together.) I must have it hanging in my office. How much is it?

Man: No problem! I consider it a good investment. (He takes out a wad of money and hands it to him.) I'm sure it will encourage my customers to take out even bigger loans. Can I take it with me right now?

B.L. Certainly! I'll even help you with it. (He mimes taking down the painting from the wall and holding it. His voice is slightly strained with the effort.) Here you go, sir!

(As he takes it down, he holds it for a moment between himself and Pam. She glimpses the back of the painting as he holds it, and she SCREAMS.)

Everyone pauses and looks at her as she covers her mouth in horror. She is wide-eyed and seemingly in shock.)

B.L. (Hurriedly handing it off to the man and hustling him toward the entrance, somewhat nervously.) I think she saw a small spider behind the picture when I removed it. You know women!

Man: (Shrugging.) Huh. I should, I've been married six times! The alimony payments are killin' me. (He leaves, pantomiming carrying the large frame.)

B.L.: Yes, my dear, whatever is the matter? You look as if you saw something terribly frightening.

Pam: (Pointing with a shaking finger in the direction of the departed man and painting.) The back... the back...

Pam: (Getting her breath.) The back... of the painting! I saw... the backside of the painting he just bought! It was... ghastly! It was gruesome! It was gory!

B.L.: Oh, that's all. (Pulls up a chair for her.) Here, sit down, my dear, you seem rather rattled.

Pam: (Sitting down shakily and passing a hand across her eyes.) I've never seen anything so nightmarish in all my life! (Looking up at Mr. Zee.) Why would there be another painting on the back, hidden from view? And why so horrible?

B.L.: (Kneeling down, he takes her hand and pats it comfortingly.) That's simply the other part of the picture, my dear. You see, when I work with manipulating light as much as I do, the dark side must be hidden. I do paint a pretty picture, as you said, but sin, in reality, is quite horrible. I merely cover it up with a bright disguise, but the ugliness can't be hidden totally, or for long. So I put in on the opposite side, the one you don't see, until you have bought it. By the time the customer discovers the ugly side, he's so attached to the loveliness on the other side that he can't get rid of it!

B.L.: (Standing up again.) Yes... well, that's my nature, and to my advantage. I do paint sin as lovely as I can, but those viewing it want to find it attractive. It appeals to what is already inside a person. I merely give them what they want to see. The flip side of sin is the part you don't want people to see. But it's inseparable... it comes with it, along with the consequences, unfortunately.

B.L.: (Shrugging.) Once you own a sin, it owns you. You never stop paying for it. It can get quite expensive! In fact, you might say there's hell to pay.

Pam: I'm beginning to think that your paintings have a corrupting influence on those that view them. I don't think they should be allowed to be displayed.

B.L.: Oh, but this is a free country, my dear. You can't censor art. You have a responsibility to inform the public, and let them make up their own minds.

Pam: (Standing, her ire is rising as well.) I feel used. I've betrayed my viewers by exposing them to this garbage posing as art. (She pokes Mr. Zee in the chest with a finger.) I don't like you, Mr. Zeebub. You bring out the worst in people instead of encouraging the good and inspiring them!

B.L.: (Laughing.) Goodness, my pouty Miss Parfay, you are beginning to sound like a preacher.

Chuck: (Defensively.) Ain't nothing wrong with that, Zeebub. My daddy was a preacher. And he used to say...

B.L.: (Interrupting rudely.) If you start spouting Bible verses, I'm afraid I shall have to evict you, and press charges against you for using hate language.

Chuck: Oh, so you're entitled to "free speech," but not people who oppose you?

B.L.: (Getting angry also.) When I have my way, you won't be able to so much as possess a Bible, much less quote it!

Pam: (She is now getting really angry.) Come on, Chuck. Let's get out of here, I've seen enough.

Chuck: I think I've seen too much! (He picks up his camera as they head out of the gallery.)

B.L: (Contritely.) I'm sorry. The media is important to me. (Lightly again.) Don't hurry off, stay and have some refreshments with everyone!

B.L.: (Calling after them.) I'm having a grand opening party after the show later tonight. Won't you come as my special guests?

Pam: (Stopping briefly.) That's one guest list we don't want to be on. Count us out. Right, Chuck?

Chuck: (Snorts disdainfully.) Yeah. One "brush" with this guy's paintings is enough. (They leave.)

(A teen, dressed in cool clothes, walks up and looks up at a painting beside B.L.)

B.L.: Indeed. (Gestures offstage with a smile.) Let me show you some of the more interesting pieces in the gallery. I know you'll just die!

(B.L. leads the willing teen off the other side of the stage toward the next room, taking his time, pointing out the paintings on the wall as they go. The music comes up and ends, concluding the skit.)

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